Why I questioned and changed my gender in my twenties

I’ve known for years about Tony Attwood’s theory on why Autistic kids question their identity.

It makes sense to me. It confirms my theories of why I identified as “epicene” (charactoristics of both male and female) and “Karl” – a male in my 20s.

I was ostricised, bullied, and bashed at every school and high-school I went to. I couldn’t relate to the girls who I found petty, gossipped, fought and excluded people seemingly randomly, and could turn on me in an instant.

(Go to 1:45:00 – 1:52:00)

Unfortunately I rejected studious kids and student guidence councillors because I believed the bullshit teasing that they were “lame” and people to be ashamed of.

If kids nowdays reject imposed gender social norms – locker room talk, discrimination against women, and gendered advertising – I understand that. We are living in an historic time of acknowleging discrimination and imposed gender norms.

For an example of how gender differences and rape culture has been around for a long time, view this video six minute video by Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds called “She might be a little bit sexual”

“Trash Toons”. (All Things Comedy network)


Some people consider themselves citizen of the world and humans before identifying with their country of origin and where they grew up.

If boys are playing with dolls, I think that they are being human – caring for someone, exploring being a parent, and practicing social scenes. Its a lovely thing to take care of a pet. Why not a doll?

This is my story of gender identity, told in my memoir “Elusive Identity”.

Photo credit: Queensland Goverment 2003. Youth Up Front award recipients for 2003 and Minister Matt Foley.

A caveat on the theme of this memoir: I have been or felt isolated for years. I rarely leave the house to participate in community groups. I understand that this isolation contributes to an erosion of a sense of identity.

Be warned. I will not tolerate any aggressive posts on social media. You will be reported and blocked.

Being Karl: A Female to Male photo timeline of testosterone results in 2003
Being Karl: A Female to Male photo timeline of testosterone results in 2003 (C) Karletta Abianac 2003

Elusive Identity: The Autism Spectrum and Maintaining a Sense of Identity (I've been there too Darl Book 2)

Coverpage of a memoir that I wrote called

A profile picture of me, Karletta Abianac. I am standing, hands on my hips, smiling proudly, and wearing a nice woman's outfit. Long black skirt and purple and white patterned three quarter sleeved blouse. I have black facial hair which I intend to shave when I go out in a few days.
I woke up this morning not ashamed of my beard. When I am well, by Wednesday, I will shave it off. I just don’t see the point of getting rid of it until I go out next.