Holy Crap – I write like my Dad!

Holy crap, I write like my dad!

I was googling Abianac, my last name and found a Letter to the Editor he wrote. In an Australian nation-wide newsletter “Amateur Radio, February 1991 — Page 49“

Skip to Vic’s letter here.

It is incredible how much I write like him, considering we left when I was a kid – about 3 years old.

TW: It was a controlling and abusive domestic violence relationship. Mum only got sole custody of us after he kidnapped me during a divorce. The cops found him and rescued me.

I’ve had good memories of that period.

Some personal impacts of legislation designed for a ‘traditional family unit’ are in my twitter thread “Poverty? Not our job”

Karletta Abianac, Twitter

Good memories, apart from knowing to always keep an eye out for him.

Concerns as I’ve aged. Understanding my memories. In hindsight, I’m seeing memories through a kaleidoscope of coercive control and his criminal conduct (like stealing a dog for reward money).

It’s pretty weird, growing up with a dad that I had to keep an eye out for, and pride in my lineage/ genes. I still love apple pies and strudels with cinnamon, do love me some Speculaas (spiced shortbread biscuits) and have a taste for rich flavours like tomatoes, red capsicum and black pepper.

He, as you will see in the letter to the editor below, was also intelligent and articulate. He knew quite a few languages, and showed me how to write script on an early computer. Upon his death, we discovered letters he wrote. It surprised me how many he had sent. And how funny he was!

The newsletter is from WIA – the Wireless Institute of Australia. Back in the 80s, late 90s, and probably until his death, he was often on the CB radio.

He starts by offering an idea for a solution. Articles for beginners.

To recruit new members to WIA it is imperative to start publishing articles for beginners, corresponding to the Novice exam syllabus,…so that beginners such as myself benefit both by WIA membership and in the long run by using previous issues as a reference guide!

The pondering starts – explaining how he came to write this letter.

Sometimes, listening to various hams, I hear gurgle-squawk-whistle-squeak etc, which makes me wonder what are their technical qualifications?

He was eager to learn, be accepted. Yet felt denied of His Rights to an Education. It quickly deteriorates into ranting.

How dare others with obviously less skill get to be a member of this club, when he can’t! I can’t tell right now if he’s asserting power by expressing such helplessness, or expressing genuine frustrations.

I am a beginner, oscillating in my ignorance, showing capacity to learn, and yet resistance is there! That is to say, resistance by possible helpers to teach us properly from the start!

I can imagine, in his mind, his businesses were run to the ground (not his fault of course *rolls eyes*), he had to waste time, money and possibly reputation on a divorce, lost ways to laugh cos no kids to play (cruel) jokes on, and no people mandated to suck it up and take his frustrations out on.

I do need someone/people to guide me. Or feel as if I do. A friend even. I do have one. A woman I admire and we share mutual respect. Not the type (yet?) who I can call or text at the drop of a hat. So yeah, a friend would be great. To throw ideas back and forth.

Amazed to read that dad had similar learning needs as me too… “I need adequate tuition and material to prepare me. Parrot learning is out!” he exclaims. “Practical use of theory and experiment is a must!“

Among the many things I’m managing at home, I’ve been researching online and in-person writer’s competitions and writer’s groups. To be there through writing my two manuscripts.

Then the unhelpful response.

Ed: Our problem is that someone must write the material for us to publish. Any volunteers?

Perhaps he is in a battle with his values and reality? Ha. Sound familiar anyone?

My ‘position’ or ‘situation’ in life has partly been my unwillingness to betray my values. I ain’t gunna pretend to be grateful to have another round of soulless and unrecognised admin jobs, go through ‘Compassion burn out’ or be half naked on movie cameras because it’s ‘art’ and ‘mainstream viewing’.

Nah, even if I could lose my agoraphobia, I won’t be dehumanised and told to suck it up – be a “quiet Australian”.

It’s uncanny how similar we are, my dad and I, when we spent so little time… in the same place.

*sighs in*

*sighs out*

Well, enjoy.

Letter to the Editor by Victor Abianac
AR – Amateur Radio, February 1991 — Page 49
WIA – the Wireless Institute of Australia

Being told to get on with it and just write. Yep. Same. Juggling a lot. I write when I can.

Ok. I hope you can stay safe. What with everything dreadful going on in the world.

Stay in touch please.

See ya,

K.

Ps: Oscillating. One of the words I love. Fancy that.