An Escort Listing and a comedy of errors

So, homeless in Rockhampton. About 2009? 2010? I moved in with my mum. An impossible “choice” and obviously bad idea. In Rockampton, not Brisbane.

One thing I attempted to earn money to raise bond and for moving expenses to rent a one or ideally 2 bedroom (bedroom and office) back in Brisbane.

Advertised online – yellow pages – for life coaching, and after much research, an escort. As in escort guys to parties or dates for non sexual company. Sugar daddy – no.

Comedy of errors there. “I’m responding to your ad.” “Excellent – which ad?”

“Your ad”

“Yeah, I’ve got two”

“The one online”.

“Life coaching or Stunning Goddess?”


“Ok, I don’t know what’s going on. If it’s life-coaching… (does elevator pitch/spiel/ intro questions/ whatever), or is it rhe Stunning Goddess one?”

I’d usually hang up at some point. If they wanted an escort they weren’t saying and I wasn’t gunna do their thinking and talking for them. (Edit add: Office number, office mode.)

Escort skills? Great fkn listener. Attentive. Good looks – beautiful at times. Beautiful soul.

Thoughts? Guys are lonely too. Give non sexual girlfriend experience. Get out the house. Be around people, like if I was to escort someone to a party.

Never had one client. Thank god.

Did one life coaching session, at the unit. Charged $50 – not $80 as quoted – for almost an hour. Felt bad for not doing mental health stuff.

I suspect at times since he was a copper doing recon. On this new “escort” in the area. I also wasn’t gunna do mental health. Not a trained mental health person. (Edit: Leaving that to the experts. Not touching it.)

So, yeah… Used same number for life coaching and escort online listing. Phone rang off the hook. Even during nights. Wouldnt fkng stop ringing. You men are pigs. Probably. Possibly. Whatever.

One guy asked for quote – overnight. $100? I said. (Edit add: Must have said a bit more, surely!) “That’s not much.” He reckoned. Hung up soon after. Never met him. Glad he said that, cos I didn’t want to do it.

Arranged to meet a second guy in public place. Cafe. Brought my mum cos then wouldnt be a wasted trip if he was a no-show, and hated leavimg the house and walking to Stocklands and back in that Rockhampton heat. (Edit: removed agoraphobic.*)

Asked a guy or three around cafe if they were who I was supposed to meet. Each reckoned no.

Ah well. Got lunch. Well, a cuppa more like, probably.

So yeah, if anyone is wondering this stuff about me, you could just ask. You want someone who’ll lie and obscuficate, go ask a politician questions.

Ask me, and I’ll probably answer. Or be like “Yeah, no, not the right forum for that conversation.”.

Or I will stutter real bad and we’ll both lose patience.

Or I’ll be too sick.


See About me page for info and contact details. Or not.