One thing that helps me to relax and chew the fat is to know my place, or have a designated role.
For the most part, I’m listening to your words, not the context or with a grain of irony in which something was spoken. I do recognise sarcasm verbally, it being the main currency of my humour.
If I’m in a conversation with you, it’s a concentrated effort to think of things you may or may not know. It’s a challenge, so if you ask me a question, it will take me a while to think of an answer.